Maintain boundaries, stay involved to navigate your teens through dating

Summer loving, it happens so fast and so does your kids growing up. For some parents it may feel as if their kids went from going on their first day of school to now going on their first date. Teen dating can be a nerve-racking experience for parents and worrisome for teens. Adolescence is a time of self-discovery as well as navigating the world around them. Dating is one of those haunting new realms for teens and some parents may not be ready to see them embarking on this journey. Parents, you are not alone. Guidelines are available to help you guide your teen as they begin dating.

Some parents might decide to not let their teens date at all. That is every parent’s personal choice. For those who permit their teens to date, they should be aware of the pitfalls and ways to ensure it is healthy. Parents should consider some of the following tips from firstthings.org:

• Teens should not start dating before they are 13 as a general rule – Dating too young can lead to various problems, including getting taken advantage of, getting physical too soon or not knowing how to end a relationship.

• Teens should date people their own age – Dating someone who is several years older than them isn’t healthy.

• Teens should date in groups – Group activities are often more fun and there is safety in numbers.

• Parents should encourage their kids to set boundaries and choose what kind of people they will date before they start dating. Decide what is off limits.

• Have a plan – Before going on a date, prepare for the unexpected.

Teens and parents need to discuss this topic before a first date even happens. You do not want you or your teen entering this realm uninformed or misguided. While they may not express it, your teen is seeking your counsel and wants you to care. Open up the conversation in an informal setting one-on-one with you and your teen. Consider opening up with your own dating stories (or nightmares) and ask them what they think of dating or if they are interested in anyone.

You want the dialogue open as it also concerns your teen’s safety. Sadly, there are predators out there who seek to take advantage of the inexperience of teens. You should and need to know who they are seeing, where dates take place and the nature of the interactions. If necessary, there are covert devices you can install on phones and vehicles so you can keep track of where your teen is going. However, I do not suggest hovering over your teen as the “helicopter parent.” That can push them further into secrecy and not want to open up to you. Rather, set reasonable boundaries like age-appropriate curfews, approved places and a system of communication between you and your teen while they are out. Use your own discretion. Keep in mind that teen dating can be a healthy way for your teen to learn about romance and relationships while having parents present for direct advising and supervision.

For more information on parenting teens and available local resources, visit www.mccslejeune-newriver.com/fap