Listen, talk with your kids to get through the storm of trauma

It is good to be back with you all. I hope you and your loved ones are safe and recovering quickly after this disaster we endured. I know it is difficult, especially when children are involved.

As parents, you might be feeling overwhelmed with taking care of other family members and juggling numerous other responsibilities. With school still out, your children might be amid the madness. To assist you, I would like to provide some ways you can help them cope with everything and understand their perspective better.

Children are very perceptive. They are watching your responses closely, even when you are not aware. One of the best ways you can help them effectively cope with the trauma of a natural disaster is to practice healthy coping methods yourself.

This includes being open and honest about your fears and worries and willingness to seek any needed help.

You want to be strong and brave, but do not let that turn into a stonewalling of natural thoughts and emotions. Natural disasters are hard. There is a loss of control and damage to people, property and sense of security. These feelings are even harder for children to handle as they still do not possess the cognitive capability to recognize and cope with stressors.

Talk with them about what scared you then ask them what they are or were afraid of. Have them draw or paint the scenes they are playing in their minds. Remember to keep the language concrete and concise, children do not begin thinking abstractly until they are older. Here are some signs to look out for to see if your children might be struggling with the aftermath of a natural disaster from the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry:

• Refusing to go back to school and "clinging" behavior, including closely following a parent around the house

• Continuing fears about the event (such as fears about being permanently separated from parents)

• Sleep disturbances such as nightmares or night terrors and bedwetting which persist more than several days after the event

• Loss of concentration and irritability

• Being easily startled

• Behavior problems (misconduct at school or at home in ways that are not usual for the child)

• Physical complaints (stomachaches, headaches, dizziness) for which there is not a physical cause

• Withdrawal from family and peers, sadness, listlessness, decreased activity, and a preoccupation with the events of the disaster

The age of your child will affect which of these signs they may exhibit. Children are more likely to become overly attached to a parent while teens may try to appear fine but have the social withdrawal and school performance issues. The level and type of trauma will also affect how your child responds. The death of a loved one, pet or total loss of a home will affect them differently than a damaged roof or lost bike.

If you see any of these signs, talk with your child and observe them carefully. They might need professional assistance from a licensed therapist. Hope and help are available and we will get through this together as a community.

For more information on available local mental health services, visit www.mccslejeune-newriver.com/counseling.

For more information on helping your children cope with natural disasters, visit www.aacap.org.